I am beyond touched at the comments on my blog and the personal emails that have poured in over the past two days, praising us on our outlook and strength. But I have a confession to make...I am not really this strong. Let me explain...
In late September I jumped out of my car and raced across a corn field parking lot to tell my best friend the good news...we just got a positive test; and less than a week later she returned the favor over a Starbucks run, decaf of course, letting me know they too were expecting! As we planned and plotted we realized the unthinkable, the babies would be due one day apart if they both decided to come on time.
But 11 days before we would receive our news, they too received a crushing blow and heard the dreaded words from the ultrasound technician, "I am so sorry; let me get your doctor."
As I literally lost my breath when I received the news, I vowed to be there for her no matter what. But instead, it was she who held MY hand as I cried over the loss. It was she who reassured me that sometimes things don't work out as planned and everything is not always meant to be. It was she who taught me it is okay to be sad and talk about it, while it is still perfectly fine to smile and push it out of your mind when necessary, to get through a moment, or hour.
So as our bodies fought our minds over the past few weeks, screaming for one more chance, just one more day to make this work, tears ran down our cheeks, silently letting our bodies know it was all over and to stop fighting.
So to you, my dear friend, thank you. Thank you for teaching me to be courageous in times of despair. To fight for what was important, and to let go when it was time. To have the strength to know everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't always seem fair. And to count on friends, to be there, and love, and support you.
I could not have the positive outlook I have without you guiding me and holding my hand through all of this...and I know I am a terrible articulator in person, but you mean the world to me, and I love you!