So i am sitting here in jury duty now, thinking of everything that i need to get done, but can't because I am confined to a small "quiet room" where we are instructed not to step outside the doorframe or risk a fine, up to, but not exceeding $1,000. At lest i got a comfy chair at a reasonably clean table...wow does having kids make your senses for cleanliness go up. I would do just about anything to have my diaper bag here so i could sanitize this table. Apparently i need to cut back on my tv watching because all i can picture right now is dust, dirt, and mud! You know, the Swiffer commercial guys. Hey, I told you I need to cut back, just demonstrating my point.
Anyway, the collection of people in here is classic! You have the standard Bible caring elderly, who think they will get out of jury duty for being too religious, but still have the customary sweatshirt with a big shiny picture of betty boop in red and a matching red turtleneck. I don't think they know that it is the oldest trick in the book; I saw it on a 60 minutes once, it takes a lot more to get out of jury duty than a sparkling new bible. I know, you would think they would at least make it looked used. See what i mean, i have to cut back on tv and read more books.
So back to my fellow city residence. There is the distinguished business man in the corner who is running his hands through his hair so violently and frequently he might actually start balding on the spot. Then his antithesis, sitting in the seat right next to him. Let's just say it is pretty likely our second fellow will be excused today for already having served 6 or more months in prison. Speaking of which, can you believe that is really on the form? Right after the line for occupation nonetheless. Then there is also the young jay-z...whose music is so loud coming from his headphones I am starting to rap along. Fine, you are right...the last thing I wrapped was a b-day present for my daughter.
I always looked forward to jury duty, a free day off work, and you get paid $15. Sounds pretty exciting I know...but now i would do just about anything to be at home in the middle of a meltdown with a poop explosion! My idea of fun sure has changed.
So enjoy your day at work today, whether it is with kids or adults, and be thankful you are not trapped in a nasty chair, in a small room, down a dark hall. Hum....I think I just had an idea for a children's book.
The ex-con just started snoring, so I am going to make my break!